makeup.

When I put on makeup, I am pretty.

When I don't put on makeup, I am beautiful.

last school day of the year.

I decided to play SC2 in all my classes today.

Yeah. That's how I roll. >:3

i can't hide forever.

And neither can you.

i hate people.

Because according to people...

I'm a bitch because I know the truth.
I'm a bitch because I tried to help a friend.
I'm a bitch because I don't like cowards.
I'm a bitch because I "start drama."
I'm a bitch because I do "stupid shit to get attention."
I'm a bitch because I cry too much.
I'm a bitch because I "cry to get attention."
I'm a bitch because I "don't understand what's going on."
I'm a bitch because I don't like a certain person.
I'm a bitch because I yell at people who need to be yelled at.
I'm a bitch because I am against high school relationships.
I'm a bitch because I am sometimes loud.
I'm a bitch because I am "weird."
I'm a bitch because I "dress like a wannabe emo faggot."
I'm a bitch because I have homework.
I'm a bitch because I get frustrated.
I'm a bitch because I don't want to blindly follow a leader.

Basically, everything is my fault.

But it's okay.
Because I don't care what these people think.
Because there are people who know I'm not a bitch.
Because there are people who say I am beautiful.

And I believe these people because they mean the world to me. ♥

but i don't hate her.

I'm sick of staring at her stupid face.
I'm sick of putting up with her complaints.
I'm sick of hearing about how she's so mean to my friends.
I'm sick of watching her hold hands with someone who I thought was my friend.
I'm sick of being her friend.

Yet...
I still act like I'm her friend.
I am her friend.
I like her.

And I still talk to her like nothing's wrong.
I talk to her like I don't know what's going on.

But I do know.
And it pisses me off.

Sometimes, I want to be really mean to her and scare her into being nice to my friend.

But it's okay.
I think that she needs to realise herself.

So I will continue to be her friend.
I will continue to like her.
I will continue to hang out with her.

Even though I know the reason she's my friend, I won't be her friend out of pity.
But I won't let her use me, either.

So I've decided to go on with life and pretend like nothing is wrong.

Because no one, no matter what they've done, deserves to be treated like shit.

She's worth it.

yesterday.

Yesterday, I spent the entire day with Justin. It was so much fun. ♥
It made me very happy.
It was the happiest I've been in a while.

Thank you so much.

And that night, I realised that I want to be best friends with Justin for the rest of my life.

i'm such a loner.

And I like it.

Well, I have friends. But I prefer to be alone. At the library. Sleeping. Studying.
It calms me down.
It's my escape because bboying just isn't possible every day.

I like being alone.
It helps me think.

Sometimes, I'd rather not be in a huge group of friends or have a huge party.
What if I'd rather hang out with just one or two people?
What if I'd rather cuddle with my stuffed animals alone?
Does that make me normal?

Or am I just strange like that?

aww. ♥

♥

it doesn't hurt at all.

It doesn't bother me.

Say it to my face next time, you coward.

it's nice to know i made a difference.

A really big difference.
So big that I can't even talk to my supposedly "bestest buddy."

Don't you just love it when you can change the world?

:/

my new jordans ♥

Aren't they beautiful? ♥

I went to Champs today, and I was looking for shoes. I realised that they only have the really small guy sizes (6, 6.5, 7) online, and I almost cried. But I had fun looking at the pretty shoes in the guys section, anyway.
Then, I moved on to the womens section. Nothing there. There's never anything worth looking at there. Except the Jordans. But besides that, there's really nothing.
And I got to the kids section. And I looked around. And then Jessica and Calvin came by. Then they left. And then, I suddenly saw these.
Love at first sight.
I stared at them for so long. They were $85, so I didn't really want to buy them, but I asked my mom if I could try them on anyway. They fit really well, and I liked them a lot. Then, my dad came to tell me that it was time to go. I asked him if I could get these. He said okay, and then I told him it was $85. He inspected the shoes and said, "These are for basketball." "I know," I replied. So, we got into an arguement about how I can't wear these in the rain. I think my mom got kind of annoyed so she was like, "Okay, seriously, she wants them. Let her get them."
And he bought them for me. ♥
And it turns out that they were only $70. :]

And I brought home my new Jordans and took too many pictures of them.

The End.

i feel so selfish.

But his heart has no room for me.

i kind of miss colourguard.

Just kind of.

I want to spin a gun so badly right now....
DOES ANYONE HAVE ONE I CAN BORROW?

it's cold today.

Right now, I want to be...
`cuddled up with Justin, Thomas, Jessica, Calvin, and Nathanael on one couch.
`watching a Miyazaki movie.
`making fun of the movie.
`wearing my warm slippers.
`laughing and having fun with my friends.
`WARM.

Remember this, guys? Let's do it again sometime. :]

probes.

Aren't they cute? :]

this is bad.

I'm starting to not want to bboy anymore. Not because I've lost interest, but because I'm not strong enough. Remember how I said I want to be the best bgirl in the world? I don't know if I can anymore. I'm losing my strength. Time is limited. I won't be able to regain my strength.

I used to think being the best bgirl in the world was possible. But now I don't know if I can anymore. And it makes me sad to know that I can't be the best anymore. My "problem" is slowly killing me inside, robbing me of what little strength I had. I don't want to continue like this. I want to bboy.

Remember how I said that bboying comes from the heart?
...what if my heart's dead?

泣きたい。

I want to bboy without any hindrances.

I want to bboy.

I'm sorry, but I don't know how long it'll be before I have to stop. I am so sorry.

lap chong.

I was listening to a song from Castle in the Sky, and I started thinking about lap chong. :D

you learn something new every day.

And what did I learn? :]

Like piano songs :D the way u play is amazing :p
u maybe have a crappy piano but the way u play is wut makes it sound beautiful!
Cuz that one song u played, wen we got to ur house on Wednesday, sounded amazing. If u play it on another piano I bet it'll b even better! Better than better lol.

J.Chau :3

He makes me smile. :]

today, i realised how disgusting this world is.

Don't believe me?

Look around you.

first band practise.

I Killed Edward had our first band practise today. It was awesome and really fun. I had a great time jamming with my fellow band members. :] They are so nice. ♥

My mom thought I was going to get raped or something because the band members looked... intimidating? Scary? Rapist-like? I dunno. She's still a bit paranoid, but she's going to let me go to practises in the future. So it's all good. :] And my dad isn't against it, either.
Apparently, dancing is worse than making music that will kill people's ear drums. Lovely. :/

Anyway, I figured out that I could actually kind of sort of play keyboard. :D

And RIP, my ears. >< I'm bringing ear plugs next time. Or noise-cancelling earphones. Not that they'll help. We were really really really LOUD.

And... umm... to you, the reader: LIKE US ON FACEBOOK. :]

lol. pe teachers.

Yesterday, my PE teacher divided us up into teams for soccer. She asked all the athletes to stand up.

So, what did I do? I stayed sitting.

Because it takes an athlete to breakdance, but an artist to bboy.
I don't breakdance.
I prefer to think of bboying as an art rather than a sport.
Sports don't allow you to express yourself. You have to play by the rules.
In bboying, there are no rules. It's just you and the floor.
Dance to your heart's content.
Express yourself however you want.
That's what bboying is.

Bboying comes from the heart.

damn.

So. I'm at my best friend's house, and he's pissed off at me. Because I hit him with a pen after he said "it's so gay."
Why doesn't he realise how much it hurts me whenever someone says that?

Damn, I'm on the verge of crying right now. Maybe I should just go home. I'm tired of faking my smiles.

i'm so funny.

I've only posted 6 times in October.
I fail.

it's not God's fault that the world is messed up.

People were created to be loved.
Things were created to be used.
The reason the world is in chaos is...

...things are being loved and people are being used.

my loves ♥

I love them so much. ♥

lately...

I haven't been feeling well.

I've felt so out of place.
I feel like I don't belong in this world.

wow.

0:49-0:52 was one of most beautiful things I've ever seen.
I almost cried.



♥

i'm never going to quit.

Never. Ever.

I'm never going to quit bboying.
It's my drug.
I need it.
If I don't bboy, I will experience withdrawl symptoms.
The thought of quitting makes me cringe.

One day, I'm going to show the world who I really am.
I'm not just Amii.
I'm the bgirl.

I'm going to be the best bgirl in the world.
And no one's going to stop me.

my life.

Bboying is truly exhausting.

But bboying for two hours straight is the best thing ever. ♥

I love it. ♥

Bboying is my life. ♥

hong seok cheon is my hero.

Apparently, people in Asia don't get it.

"If my son becomes gay and dies from AIDS after watching 'Life Is Beautiful', SBS must take responsibility!"
Really? ANYONE can get AIDS. It all depends on your parents or who you have sex with.

"'Life Is Beautiful' has glamorized the culture of gays against what is realistically, healthy and proper for the citizens of Korea."
Who gave you the right to determine what is "healthy" and "proper"?
Who gave you the right to say that being gay is a bad thing?

'Take responsibility for my son becoming gay because of the drama?' What a funny ad, but also quite disappointing. Soon they will be putting out an ad saying don’t hang out with Hong Seok Cheon if you don’t want to be gay. This was the exact reason I was fired from 'BboBboBbo' 10 years ago when I first came out. All of those calls made to the broadcast company asking to take me off the show. If such logic was true, all of those children that were on a part of the show with me should be gay by now, but they aren’t.

The gay couple that is shown on 'Life Is Beautiful' is so beautifully and realistically drawn. If there really is a son out there that becomes gay after watching the drama, it is not because he became gay but because he actually was gay and finally earned enough confidence to come out. It could be the drama that gave him that strength to come out to his parents and ask for understanding. How unfortunate for the children that live under the parents that put out such a trashy advertisement. Aids is not a disease specific to gays. How is it that I found out that I was gay 25 years before I saw the drama 'Life Is Beautiful?' What kind of dramas did the gays in the 50s, 60s, and 70s watch in order to become gay? Being gay is not a contagious disease, you fools.

Hong Seok Cheon

Click here to see the original post on allkpop.

adrenaline and my 40 secrets.

I think I got too much of adrenaline today. It's good, though. It made me feel so much better.

I had the most amazing dance session ever. And I lost weight.
Life is good. :]


And here are my 40 secrets.
1 - Have you ever been asked out?
Yes.

2 - Where was your profile picture taken?
IvyMax. LOL.

3 - What's your middle name?
Jae Eun.

4 - Your current relationship status?
Single.

5 - Does your crush like you back?
Oh, yes, I like myself.
I don't have a crush. LOL.

6 - What is your current mood?
Bored!

7 - What color socks are you wearing?
Bloo on the right foot, and green/white stripes on the other.

8 - What color shirt are you wearing?
Soul Eater shirt!

9 - Missing something?
Dancing.
Although I was just doing it a few hours ago. o~O;;

10 - If you could go back in time and change something, what would you do?
Nothing. There's no point. Everything worked out the way it did, and I'm okay with that.

11 - If you must be an animal for one day what would you be?
A kitty. :]

12 - Ever had a near death experience?
Umm, I don't think so.

13 - Something you do a lot?
Dance!

14 - The song stuck in your head?
I Love God. :]
I love God because He loved me long before the world began~
I love God because He knew my destiny~
I love God because He made me part of His eternal plan~
I love God because He first loved me~
I love Him for all the things He's done for me~
I love Him for all that He is, all that He is to me~
But, most of all, I love Him as the Spirit who deep within my spirit lives~

15 - Who did you copy and paste this from?
Feli! :]

16 - Name someone with the same birthday as you.
T.Rex! :]

17 - When was the last time you cried?
Umm. Before now. P:
I don't remember.

18 - Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
Yeah.

19 - If you could have one super power what would it be?
STDs.
Super Talented Dancing. :D

20 - What's the first thing you notice about the opposite or same sex?
The person. :O

21 - What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Diarrhea in a cup.
*Cough* I mean, green tea frap.
Or vanilla frap.
Or strawberries and cream frap.
Or caramel frap.
Or frap. :]

22 - What's your biggest secret?
I don't have one. O.o;;

23 - Favorite color?
Black!
Red!
Pink!
Purple! :]

24 - Do you still watch kiddie shows on tv?
SPONGEBOB FTW.

25 - What's on your walls in your room?
My whiteboard. :D

26 - What are you?
A crayon.

27 - Do you speak any other languages?
I speak Engrish.
Mandarin.
Japanese.
Korean.
:]

28 - What's your favorite smell?
Old Spice ♥

29 - Describe your life in one word?
Amii.

30 - Have you ever been kissed in the rain?
Mhmm.

31 - What are you thinking about right now?
You. ♥

32 disappeared. O.o;;

33 - What should you be doing?
Homework!

34 - Who was the last person that made you upset/angry?
The retard.

35 - How often do you talk to God?
Every day~

36 - Do you like working in the yard?
Nuu. Never~

37- If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?
Something cute and Asian.
Something better than my real last name.
Like... Chau! Lee! Son! Yeo! Yeah~ :]

38 - Do you act differently around the person you like?
Yes, I act differently around myself.

39 - What is your natural hair color?
Brack!

40 - Who was the last person to make you cry?
Let's not talk about this. ^^

you're probably disappointed now.

Therefore, all I have to say is this: fuck you.

i like typing.

But only on my computer.
I like the sound that the keys make when I hit them.

It's a crisp sound.

It comforts me, in a way.

I'm weird.
But then again, I've never claimed otherwise.

the kind of pictures that i like.

What kind of pictures do I like?

Watch the last 6 minutes of episode 8 of Hana Kimi Japan, and you'll understand.

i think i'm going crazy.

I had a dream that he held my hand.

I woke up, crying because I know it's never going to happen.
It wasn't because I like him; it was because I realised the huge chunk of my heart that had been torn out over a year ago still hasn't fully healed.

But I'm not waiting for someone to come and heal this heart.
I'm not waiting for someone to love me.

I'm just wondering how long it's going to be before I decide it's okay to start a relationship with someone.

i will become stronger.

You just watch.

And you won't stop me.

bboying and God.

Towards the end of June...
That was when I first started bboying.

I remember how I could barely hold a baby freeze.
I remember how I had trouble with a three-step.
I remember how I had almost given up because I thought I couldn't do it.

I've overcome all of that.

I've gotten stronger.
Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well.

My relationship with God has also grown since then.

Bboying has brought me closer to God.
God has brought me closer to my goal.

When bboying, I constantly remind myself about how God has given me this strength.
God is my strength.

Without God, I can do nothing.
Without God, I am nothing.

I don't bboy alone.

I bboy with God.

you know what?

You are beautiful.

I'm not talking about a certain person.
I'm talking about you. The person who is reading this.

Yes. You are beautiful. ♥

dear jenny hsieh,

I love you.

I am so thankful to have a friend like you. ♥

loveless.

I found a quote from Loveless that complements the previous post.

He is looking for something to love. He desires an object for this love so much that when he thinks he's found it, he gives that person all he has. But agreeing to love — to trust love's object unquestioningly — that, too, is insanity.

Loveless

you're stupid.

You know who you are. If you're reading this, you've probably stalked me enough to find this. Even though we're not friends anymore.

Well, let me say this bluntly: you're retarded.

I can't believe you dumped your best friend for your boyfriend.
I can't believe you thought your best friend was trying to ruin your relationship with your boyfriend.
I can't believe you think that you're so in in love with your boyfriend and that you're going to get married to him.
I can't believe you had sex with your boyfriend.
I can't believe you think that having sex proves your love for your boyfriend.
I can't believe you're so stupid.

I thought you could've done better. When I first met you, I thought you were a good person. I thought you loved God. I thought you cared about your best friend. I never thought that you would do something like this.

And no, I'm not saying this because I'm in love with you and I'm just jealous that I can't have you.

You need to stop living in your own ideal world.
You need to face reality.
You need to realise that everything your best friend told you and everything I'm typing now is for your own good.
You need to realise that your best friend isn't trying to seduce you; she's trying to help you because she cares about you.

I loved you. And you should know that.
You were my friend.

Your ex-best friend loved you, too, you know. She loved you as a friend, as a sibling. She wasn't trying to get you to go out with her. She wasn't trying to flirt with you. She really cared.

But no, you ended it just like that.
And I don't even know how to react to that.
Am I supposed to laugh or cry?

Do I laugh because you're so naive and ignorant, or do I cry because you are?
Do I laugh because you sold your soul to the devil, or do I cry because you did?
Do I laugh because you gave up one of the most amazing girls in the world for your boyfriend whom you're not even in love with, or do I cry because you did?

You know, you're not in love with your boyfriend.

Just because you say you love him doesn't mean you love him.
Just because you kiss him doesn't mean you love him.
Just because you have sex with him all the time doesn't mean you love him.
Just because you say you're going to marry him doesn't mean you love him.

Come on. You're 14.
I'm 15, and I haven't even thought about having a serious relationship yet, let alone marriage and sex.

You don't love him.
This "love" that you speak of isn't love. It's lust.

I forgive you for having a boyfriend.
I forgive you for kissing your boyfriend.
But my forgiveness stops there.

It's okay to date.
It's okay to be in a relationship.

But you've crossed the line.

You're having sex with him.
You say you're going to marry him.
You say that you won't ever be happy unless you're in a relationship with someone.

Is that reasonable for someone your age?
Just because the legal marriage age is 16 or whatever doesn't mean that you should get married at that age.

True love waits.
And you should know that.

I'm not going to preach to you about how relationships are for marriage because clearly, you already believe that.
I'm not going to try to persuade you to break up with your boyfriend because that would be cruel.
I'm not going to try to get you and your best friend back together because I've already lost faith in you.

You made her cry. And I won't forgive you for that.

Why did you do that? You cussed her out and told her how horrible of a person you think she is.

Are you insane?
Mind you, she's probably one of the best friends you'll ever have had.
And yet, you let her go. Just like that.

She has feelings, too, you know. Heck, I'd be pretty pissed off too if my best friend decided to dump me for his girlfriend.
But of course, you wouldn't understand.
I mean, why would you? You're happy, aren't you? You're happy with the present situation. You're probably relieved that your stupid, annoying best friend won't get in the way of your relationship with your boyfriend.

Well, we all have those times when we do things like that, when we think that people are just trying to get in the way of our relationships with others. Yeah. I get that. I can understand that.

But even after your best friend yelled at you and other people told you how wrong of you that was, you're still shameless, like you've done nothing wrong. You blame your best friend for everything.

Wow.
You're retarded.
I'm not even kidding.
I want to slap you in the face.
When will you finally realise that you're not going to be with your boyfriend forever?
Your best friend will always be there for you. You and your boyfriend are going to break up.
Think about it. How many relationships have you been in this past year? So far, all of them except your current relationship have failed, haven't they? What makes you think the guy you're with now is the right one? How do you know this relationship isn't going to fail? Why are you so sure that you're going to marry this guy?

What's wrong with you?

I hope you can set your mind straight soon.
I hope you will realise that we'll always be here for you.

You don't need to be in a relationship to be happy.
Throwing your love at whomever comes your way isn't going to benefit you.
You won't be happy in the long run.

You're trashing your relationship with your friends, and more importantly, with God.

There's so much more I could say to you, but you wouldn't listen.
You'd hate me and think that I'm trying to ruin your relationship with your boyfriend.

I never thought I'd say this to you, but you're so fucking stupid.

Whatever.

Just remember this: even though we're not friends anymore, I will forgive you if you apologise sincerely. I'll help you. I'll be there for you.
But not until you realise how wrong you have been.

I'm not God.
I don't have the right to judge.
But this is just ridiculous.

Please realise soon.

I'll pray for you.

69th post. :D

I FINALLY figured out why everyone thinks I like Tristan. LOL.

umm.

I finally put the link to my blog on Facebook.

That took, oh, I don't know, about 3 months for me to get enough courage to do?

I like ice cream.

day 30: my reflection in the mirror.

I don't like to look at myself in the mirror.
I use the mirror only to fix my hair.

I don't like to see myself.
Whenever I stand in front of a mirror, I see all of my imperfections.

People are always telling me how cute and pretty and skinny I am, but I find it really hard to believe.
Even if I did have good looks, does it matter?
Whenever I look into a mirror, I see how fucked up I really am.

I am perfectly imperfect.

But it's not about being perfect.
No one is perfect except God.

I don't see any beauty in myself, whether it's inner or outer beauty.

On the outside, I'm "pretty" to some people.
But every time they tell me how pretty I am, I always deny it.
Because on the inside, I'm ugly.

I'm beyond ugly.
If people could hear my thoughts, they would confine me to a mental hospital.
But even that won't help.
They'd probably just stone me to death out of anger, sadness, and pain.
Truthfully, on the inside, I hate everyone.
Everyone causes me pain.
Everyone makes me sad.
I hate everyone.

But I'm glad that God is here in my heart.
That prevents me from running around with guns and killing everyone I hate.
I mean, if I did that, there would be no one left on this earth.
Not even me.

I hate myself.
I abhor myself.
I wish I were different.
I wish I weren't so fucked up like this.

I don't want this.

I desperately want to change.
God, please don't let me be like this. I don't like it.
Please, Daddy.

day 29: the person i really want to tell everything to but too afraid to.

I feel like I should make a confession.
Honestly, I feel like I should tell everything to my best friends.
They have the right to know everything about me, how I'm feeling, and what I'm going through.

But I'm too scared to.
I really am.
I don't want them to hate me.
I don't want them to judge me.
I don't want them to think I'm insecure.
I don't want to lose them.

day 28: someone who changed my life.

God.
Yes, He did.
He changed my life.
He kept me alive even though I felt like my life was ending.
He brought me to this day.
He was always with me.
He was always there to support me and guide me.
And I love Him for that.

I'm who I am because of God.

day 27: the friendliest person i only knew for a day.

That's easy.
It's that one bboy whom I met at Kinyoubi Con. But I forgot his name, so I can't add him on Facebook.
He was really nice.

I want to meet him.

day 26: the last person i made a pinky promise to.

I don't remember. I have short-term memory loss.
More like, I don't really pay attention. LOL.

day 25: the person i know who is going through the worst of times.

Yes! I actually have someone to write about. :D

J.Nath.

I'm going to make him a cake on Monday. :D
Yeah. He needs it.

day 24: the person who gave me my favourite memory.

I don't have a favourite memory.

But I have the best friends in the entire world who give me good memories every day. ♥

day 23: the last person i kissed.

Let's not talk about that.

day 22: someone i want to give a second chance to.

Mmm. I don't know.
I think this topic meant like, if one of my exes asked me for a second chance, would I give it to them?

Well. No.

Because I'm not interested in a relationship at the moment.

day 21: someone i judged by his first impression.

Umm... I don't really know.

I don't think that first impressions are really that important when you're young and immature like me.

First impressions are a lot more important when you're applying for a college or when you're at a job interview.

I don't think I've ever really cared about first impressions.

But obviously, practically everyone cares about what he looks like on the first day of school.
I guess you could say that's a part of making good first impressions.

But really, I don't care.

day 20: the one who broke my heart the hardest.

Hmm.

I don't really know.
I got over him.
It doesn't matter anymore.

I don't compare boyfriends.

day 19: someone who pesters my mind (good or bad).

I really don't know. :/

day 18: the person i wish i could be.

WARNING: Prepare for incorrect grammar.

Ideally, my name would be Amii.
I would have naturally straight hair.
I would have an almost-flat stomach.
I would be pretty, both inside and out.
I would have a better personality.
I wouldn't be so selfish.
I would have money so I'd be able to actually afford things for my friends.
I wouldn't be retarded.
I wouldn't procrastinate so much.
I wouldn't have bad grades.
I would actually care about academics.
I would have a giant stuffed animal that I could hug all the time.
I wouldn't be so scared/hesitant to hug someone.
I would be athletic.
I would be really good at breaking.
I would be better at piano.
I would read the Bible every day.
I would read the messages every day.
I would pray/talk to God every day.
I would tell everyone about how great God is.
I would love God more.
I would actually like who I am.

That, in addition to who I am now, would be ideal.

Too bad it's never going to happen.

i love studying.

Okay, this is funny.
It's the first day of school, and I'm already wondering if it's okay to study off of Course Notes.

I have a Chem test tomorrow.

first day of junior year.

It was okay.
I got to see my friends. ♥

But for some reason, it didn't feel like it was the first day of school.
Maybe it's because I'm a junior, and I'm getting old. :/

I think that from this year on, I'm going to take a lot of photos.
I don't want to forget the awesome times we have during my high school years.

I don't want to forget....

day 17: someone from my childhood.

There's a few people I always think about.

J. Chiou
A. Song
H. Folk

J. was my best friend until he moved away.
At least, I think he moved away.
Did he?
Yeah, I think he went to China or something and came back.
Something like that. XD

A. was my neighbour.
I still remember when I showed him a girls' book about puberty.
There were boobs and vaginas.
Those were the days....
Anyway. I actually went to visit him a few years ago.
He moved to P-town.
He's going to Amador, so I have to shun him now.
Jk.
I just added him on Facebook.

H. was a good friend of mine, even though she was a lot younger than I was.
I remember how we always went on day trips to random places.
Like some science museum or something.
All I remember is that we were playing some game in the car, and there was a fountain at the museum.
And we both bought harmonicas.

day 16: someone who is not in my state/country.

I've always moved a lot.

There are people in New York, Texas, and China whom I still think about.
I'm always wondering how they are doing.
I want to meet up with them sometime.

Unfortunately, I've lost contact with everyone from New York.
I still find people from Texas on Facebook and stuff, but I don't really remember anyone from New York.
Even if I did find their Facebook, would they remember me?


China is a communist country, and Facebook is blocked there.
I still go back to visit once in a while, though.

day 15: the person i miss the most.

My two best friends.

But it's okay because school is starting in two days.

Darn.

I hate school.

day 14: someone i've drifted away from.

Oh, gosh. Here's my list. :/

A. Cheng
B. Chan
B. Kim
J. Chiou (I definitly forgot how to spell his last name. Darn.)
J. Wu
L. Xu
M. Li
S. Sasfddsofashdfodsifhiasooasfds I don't know how to spell her last name
S. Oh
T. Ou

day 13: someone i wish could forgive me.

Hmm.

I don't think I've done anything TERRIBLY wrong yet.

As long as I have God's forgiveness, I'm good.

day 12: the person i hate the most/caused me a lot of pain.

The person who has caused me a lot of pain is the person I love.


I don't hate.
The Bible says to "love your neighbour has yourself."

Why hate when there is something better?

day 11: a deceased person i wish i could talk to.

I'd want to talk to Michael Jackson.

I want to thank him for teaching all of us a lesson.

I want to thank him for helping many realise the negativity of idolatry.

day 10: someone i don't talk to as much as i'd like to.

God.

day 9: someone i wish i could meet.

Please refer to day 8's post.

I want to meet him. ♥

day 8: my favourite internet friend.

I used to have a lot of friends on the internet because of crunchyroll, but I guess I lost all of them after everyone quit.

My favourite internet friends back then were:
Beni-kun
Don
Sora-sama
Sam

Something like that. I don't remember too well because I haven't talked to any of them in almost three years.
I can't believe I still remember them.

Well, I guess it's because of the impact that they made on my life then.

Yeah. At that time, I didn't have any real friends, so I would always come home and start talking to them. It was really awesome.

~*~*~*~*~*~

My favourite internet friend now has to be A. Han.

It's funny because I can meet up with him whenever I want (he went to the high school I would've gone to if I hadn't moved).
Every time I try to meet up with him, we can never find each other.

I visit that school sometimes, like on the last day of school or during breaks or whatever. I never seem to find him, though.

I really want to meet him.
He changed my life.
I want to hug him and thank him for everything he's done for me.

If I hadn't met him, I wouldn't be who I am.
I wouldn't even be alive.

Thank you so much.

day 7: my ex.

My ex... huh?

I loved him. I really did. He was everything to me. He made me smile. He helped me bring out my true self. He helped me realise who I really was.

He was so important to me.

He made me happy. Seeing him smile, seeing his happiness... that made me truly happy.

He was my entire world.

But then...
He broke up with me. It made me feel as if a huge chunk had been torn from my heart. There was a hole in my heart. A hole that seemingly no one could fill.
I cried for months. It took me the entire summer to get over him.

Even now, I still sometimes think about him. It's been more than a year.
Really though, I just miss having someone there to hold my hand.

Because of him, though, I learned that high school relationships won't last.

It brought me closer to God.
It made me realise that only God's love will last an eternity.
Because God is love.

In an indirect way, it brought me closer to my two best friends now.

It also helped me realise the beauty of DANCE.

Honestly, I'm really glad that he broke it off.
I am who I am now because of him.
I'm really thankful to him.

The four months that we were together brought me out of depression and made me truly happy.

Thank you.

people just don't understand.

My status on Facebook: God ♥

Responses I got:
Yahweh, Zeus, Apollo, Brahma, Vishnu, Shiva, Parvati, Aphrodite, Ra, Osiris, Baal, and Allah ♥
(Don't forget Artemis and Athena!)
Don't forget Jupiter and C'thulu! ♥
I was going for an encompassing comment- named a few for the point. But you're right, I missed a few...
...uh...er...
............Xenu ♥
Lol, I know. ^.^ Quetzalcoatl! ♥


People just don't understand.

I seriously just want to punch them in the face and say "fuck you," but I won't because that doesn't solve anything.

day 6: a stranger.

"Eyeliner bboy"
"The other bboy"
M. Ngo

They're still strangers to me, but I want to be friends with them.
I don't know why.

day 5: my dreams.

Dreams? Like, what I dream of when I'm asleep? Or what I dream about for the future?

I don't remember my dreams.

As for the future, I have a goal. I want to be the best bgirl in the world. I want to prove him wrong.

day 4: my sibling (or closest relative)

Can we not talk about my brother who's overly obsessed with Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh and makes me play with him every single freaking day?

day 3: my parents.

What about them?

love.

Click for a bigger image.

day 2: my crush.

Crush? What's your definition of a crush?

My definition of a crush is someone who I'm interested in, even if I don't want to start a relationship with him or her.

In that case, my crushes are...
M. Ngo :]
"Eyeliner bboy"
"The other bboy"
J. Lee
"The guy with the Domo backpack"
"The guy who took his shirt off"
HATSUNE MIKU ♥
SAEKO ♥

day 1: my best friend.

twinsie, j.chau #1
I love him so much. He's awesome.
He's always been there for me, and he always makes me laugh. And he's special. :O
I don't know what I'd do without him.
I remember the awkwardness of when we met almost 2 years ago. We were really stupid and naive. Well, I was. I don't know about him. WE BECAME FRIENDS ON FACEBOOK. HAHAHAHA.
We're twins, but we were separated at birth. And now we've found each other. ♥♥

my prince ♥
Lubb forever. ♥
He's such a special person.
I've known him since 8th grade, but we've never really talked until Sophomore year.
And now we're best friends. :]
We became friends in the weirdest way possible. We were fighting each other with pipes. XD
Yeah. We don't fight with pipes anymore. We just roll around in bed.
Fun stuff.

30 days.

I found this 30 days thing on someone's Tumblr. But as you know, I don't use Tumblr. So, I might as well just do it on this blog.

Day 1: Your Best Friend
Day 2: Your Crush
Day 3: Your parents
Day 4: Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5: Your dreams
Day 6: A stranger
Day 7: Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8: Your favorite internet friend
Day 9: Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10: Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11: A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12: The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13: Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14: Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15: The person you miss the most
Day 16: Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17: Someone from your childhood
Day 18: The person that you wish you could be
Day 19: Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20: The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21: Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22: Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23: The last person you kissed
Day 24: The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25: The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26: The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27: The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28: Someone that changed your life
Day 29: The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30: Your reflection in the mirror

first bboy battle ♥

07 August 2010 ♥

I had my first bboy battle today at KinYoobi Con.

I'd like to say that I won, but it was a friendly n00b battle.

gender vs. sex.

I got a question on my Formspring asking me the difference between gender and sex. I feel kind of bad, though, because it's taking me so long to answer that question. Sorry, whoever you are. ><

Anyways. Here's my answer.

Your sex is based on your reproductive organs. Your gender is a mindset. It's how you choose to act. In all the history books, they always talk about GENDER roles (not sex roles). Gender roles are "the socially constructed roles, behaviors, activities, and attributes that a given society considers appropriate for men and women" (World Health Organisation). I guess, if you really wanted a definition for the term "sex role," it would be whether you get to contribute sperm or get your egg fertilised. Although that may not always be the case now BECAUSE PROP 8 WAS DENIED. :D

There is also a difference between transgender and transsexual. Transgender is just when you feel like you're a guy in a girl's body or a girl in a guy's body. Like I said before, it's a mindset. Your gender really just depends on how you view yourself for the most part. A transsexual is someone who as went through surgery to change his or her reproductive organs completely. And by that, I mean REPRODUCTIVE organs. Not boobs. Boobs don't matter in this case. Someone with a penis and boobs (like, female boobs) is considered of the male sex because one's sex depends on his or her REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS.

love is pain...?

I've heard that line in at lest five different songs, and I'm tired of hearing it.

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

Everyone says love hurts, but that isn't true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt.

Fuck you, kpop singers.

Nah, I'm kidding. I lubb kpop singers! Especially Taeyeon. :]

i like 3.14.

But really, pi is good. :]

i lubb this girl.

張芸京 ♥

















DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these pictures.

nyahahahaha.

I made my first hair tutorial. :D

hairspray.

That stuff is amazing.

My favourite freeze hairspray is, of course, by got2b. I love their products. :]

So, I had to walk to my SAT class today, and it was hecka windy outside. I sprayed on some hairspray to make my spikes stay in place, and even after 30 minutes of walking in 20+ mi/hr wind, my hair DID NOT BUDGE. At all. Love. ♥

Also, what's really been bugging me lately is that I cannot find a waterproof matte white eyeliner. I found a few kohl liners, but I WANT WATERPROOF, DAMMIT. I went into Sephora, almost certain that Urban Decay would have a white eyeliner, but NO. They only have shimmering white one.

I NEED A WATERPROOF MATTE WHITE EYELINER. Is it really that hard to put into consideration the number of people who use eyeliner as a highlight rather than actual highlighter? Geez. Go die, all you stupid makeup companies.

And just to clear things up, I don't wear makeup. It'd be a bit strange if I did. Lol. But I need the white eyeliner because I'm a practising makeup artist. I'd probably piss myself if I wanted to keep talking about how awesome and versatile white eyeliner is.

i don't actually have a new best friend.

My best friend was, is, and always will be my twinsie. ♥

jae has a new best friend.

Why, yes, I do. :]

His name is Andyrew.

He's my best friend because he told me that he'd give me a bubble blower thingy that lights up when blowing bubbles. :D

insert creative and witty title here.

Even if your feelings grow distant tomorrow,
Surely my love will remain unchanged.
Even I pass from your heart tomorrow,
Surely my love will remain unchanged.


Please have eyes only for me...


Please don't let go of my hand...

the GazettE - Cassis

wakaremichi.

To tell you the truth, it hurts, and it's painful, and I'm lonely, but I want to pretend to be strong at least to you.... I'm so stupid. I'm the one that wants to cry.

the GazettE - Wakaremichi

Do you remember that conversation that me and two of my friends had? Yeah. That conversation went nowhere after that. :/

Today's post is going to be short. I just realised that I have an essay to write. It's due tonight. :O

Peace.

pretzels.

"There is no way you're going to stick a pretzel inside me!!!"

That's what she said. :]

it's been a while.

Not really.

Anyways, two friends and I were having a conversation about love. It started when one of them had a status update or something that said, "love hurts."

I thought that it'd be nice if I shared it. You know, just so I won't have to scroll through pages and pages of Facebook posts to find it. ^^

Colour code:

Me :]

Joe ♥

Eileen ♥

Love does not hurt.

Everyone says love hurts, but that isn't true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt.

yes, but when one feels love, along with it comes many other emotions, some of them not so nice, because we're humans. they say love is the most powerful emotion. i agree, because love has the ability to encompass a huge range of other emotions. love may bring one so much joy and erase all pain, but self doubts, jealousy, fear they will not be loved anymore, comes with it as well. love is a really complex emotion. i don't quite fully understand it yet.

it's more of like... love IS jealousy. love IS happiness. and love IS pain. at least for me it is.

The word "love" is used in such a common manner that it has lost its meaning...especially to me. It does hurt because when you experience this feeling for someone you are untouchable...a natural high. But after a relationship ends...you com...e crashing from a place so high and go down so fast, but that's the only time you can see the cuts and bruises you've recieved from loving someone so much...And before you hit the ground.......you ask yourself "Was it worth loving her (or him)?"
personal experience

Love hurts the most when it's only a one way street instead two...Love is not meant to be like that.

@Eileen: No one but God can truly understand love. And I don't care if you're agnostic or whatever, but I just have to put that out there. Love goes with everything good. Love can CAUSE one to feel pain or jealousy, but love is not pain or... jealousy itself.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a, 13: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails....And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

1 Peter 4:8: "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."

1 John 3:16: "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers."

Love is God Himself.

‎@Joe: Love was not meant to hurt. It was meant to bring people happiness. It was meant to bring peace an harmony in a society. The ten commandments are all based off of love for one another. "You shall not steal." "You shall not commit adu...ltery." "Honour your father and mother." If someone violates the terms of the commandments, isn't because he has too much hatred? If he had loved his parents, his wife, his neighbours, none of that would have happened.

The reason why we sin is because we do not love.

1 Peter 4:8: "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."

Okay, I know that I've kind of strayed away from the original topic.

Anyways. One sided love... You know, if you really think about it, it's like Jesus and us. He loved us so much that He died for us. And yet, no one really appreciated that. Everyone mocked Him and cursed Him. Still, He did not turn His back on us or give up on us. He did not ask God to punish us. He kept on loving us. And He still does. He loves everyone, even if they're sinners, even if they don't believe in Him.

Uhh, I realise that had nothing to do with what we're talking about. Hmm.

If you really loved someone, you wouldn't give up, would you? Even if they didn't love you back. Besides, you need to talk to God about these things. See, God decides for you who you're going to marry. He doesn't necessarily decide for you who you fall in love with. If you fall in love with someone but she isn't the right person, God may still allow it. He will let you love her, but He may be "using" her to help you in some way or as a test or something. But if He decides to take her away from you, don't blame Him. Instead, talk to Him and ask Him what He wants. Remember, you're living for God, not for yourself. Because God gave you this life. There's no way that you could repay Him for everything He's done for you, but all He wants is that you abide with Him. (Look! I used a Bible word!)

That's how far we've gotten on the conversation so far. I'll probably write a new post if there are any major updates. :]

formspring.

[Link]

No one ever reads this blog, but I feel like I should put up my formspring link. Just for the heck of it. :]

백지영 ♥

i won't love.

I've been really into ballads lately. They're so pretty. ♥

I changed the blog's song to I Won't Love by Baek Ji Young. Her voice is so pretty. ^^

사랑 안해.

Yes, I've been studying Korean. I'm getting hecka fast at typing Korean now! :D I've also been keeping up with my Japanese studies. I've put off trying to learn Cantonese because I can't handle learning 29384329847 languages at one time~ Besides, the only thing I really have to learn in Cantonese is how every character is pronounced. I can already read, write, and I already know grammar because I'm Chinese. The writing system for both Cantonese and Mandarin are the same. Lol.

tumblr.

See, I would get a tumblr, but I don't understand it at all, so I stick with Blogger. But I have Gmail, so I don't need to sign up for it. I just have to sign in with my Google account. ^^ Plus, I've been using Blogger for almost five years already, so I know how it works and stuff. And you don't have to write your own code for layouts. I'm too lazy to write code.

But yea. Blogger is more simple to use, and that's the way I like it. :]

draw with me. ♥

This made me cry. When I was watching this, I thought, "That boy is me," especially when he wrote, "It's so cold. I want to be with you" and when he tried to break through the glass.

I hope that one day, I will find someone who I love enough to break through everything so I could be with them.

♥

sigh.

I haven't talked to my best friend for almost a week.

I hope he calls soon.

pasta.

That stuff is hecka good. :]

I would be having pasta for lunch... but my mom thought that it would be a good idea to buy huge boxes of frozen pizza. So, I'm stuck eating pizza instead. :/ And I'll be having pizza on Friday, too. Because my mom goes to work on Mondays and Fridays. But I get to eat good stuff when she's at home. Like, subway. Which really isn't that good if you eat it too often, but whatever. It's better than eating the same thing every single freaking day. :/

And yes, I KNOW THAT NO ONE READS THIS BLOG, OKAY? I'm not retarded. I didn't post it as a link on Facebook to share with everyone. Why? Well, the link for it is on my little boxy thing on the side. So, I just want to see who bothers to actually click on that link... or even read the boxy thing. P:

Speaking of boxy thing, I got on the high scores list for BoxHead 2Play Rooms. Hahaha. I win. :]

major.

I've finally figured out what I want to major in when I go to college: Asian languages and culture. That's so fobby of me, isn't it?

The reason I want to choose this major is because I can learn and memorise vocabulary and grammar fairly easily. And I already have a solid foundation in Chinese, Japanese, and Korean. So, it'd be a lot easier for me. Also, I really like studying Asian languages. :D

I'M GOING TO BE AN AMBASSADOR WHEN I GROW UP.

Actually, I have no idea what I want to do. Maybe I can go to an Asian country and teach English. Or I can travel to those countries and do make up art there. Or I can be a translator. For MANGA. <3 Haha. I'm just being weird now. But seriously, there are so many possibilities. I don't know what I'm going to do.

And I really have to thank my little sister for helping me decide on this major. She was talking about how I'm better at Korean than some of her Korean friends. Before, we were talking about how I was good at Japanese or whatever. Then, she told me that I should major in Korean. And I thought that might be a good idea, and that majoring in Japanese wouldn't be bad, either. So, I decided, why not just major in East Asian languages in general?

I already know Mandarin pretty well, but I still need to study those thingies (I forgot what they're called, but they're the four-character sayings or whatever). Because that's really important in Chinese. And I need to learn how to read. Haha. Both traditional and simplified. I can read some of both (traditional because I study Japanese kanji and simplified because that's what I learned growing up), but I definitely need to improve.

But until then, I'll study hard! :)

secret.

I figured that since no one ever reads this anyways, I'll post a secret.

If I told myself that I wouldn't eat until he called, I could lose 20 pounds.

I don't want to call him because he'll think that I'm annoying.

birthplace.

Today, I was signing up for something online, and it asks you to pick a security question. The only one I could actually answer was "where were you born?". Oddly enough, I had to actually think about it before typing in the answer.

It was weird. I mean, I know where I was born. But this one time, it felt awkward to type in "China."

This usually happens to people when they start to feel Americanised, right? But that's not the reason for me. I have no idea why. For some reason, I just don't feel Chinese anymore. And it's not because I feel like American. I honestly don't know what I am. Japanese? Korean? British? German? French? I have no clue.

japantown and july 4.

Man, I love that place. I love it so much I want to kill it.

Honestly, though. I'm sick of going to Japantown. I only go there for food and pictures. And maybe not even food. But I go there because I'm a PikaPika addict. XD

Today, I figured out that my brother is the most amazing decorator ever. He covered up our faces with a bunch of random crap. I salute him for that. Why? Because I looked really bad in that picture. And now, you can't even see me. >:D

I finally got my very own kanji dictionary! :] I'm such a nerd, I know. XD Oh, I also got a Japanese-English English-Japanese dictionary. But I use it mainly for the English-Japanese part. Because the kanji dictionary is Japanese-English. Does that make any sense at all? O.o

I think this was the first Japantown trip when I didn't buy anything. :O I'm amazed.

Alrighties, moving on to the next topic. July 4.

I hate July 4 like no other. Why? Because a certain person and I made a promise. Let's call that person Samus. (I play too many video games.) Samus promised me that we would watch fireworks together on July 4. Well, that never happened. Why? Because SHE FUCKING DUMPED ME before we could do that. :/

Okay, it's not that bad. She didn't dump me. She broke up with me. Sorry. >.>

The thing is, I don't have any feelings for her anymore. We're just friends. It's just that... I miss having someone there to hold my hand. ><

Also, I don't like to break promises. :/ And speaking of promises, another reason why I don't like going to Japantown is because one of my best friends promised to buy me a crepe the next time we go. I'm just waiting until we go before I get a crepe. Because I've never had a crepe before. P:

I WANT A FUCKING CREPE.

why can't kpop artists actually sing?

Okay, so I'm convinced that kpop singers can't actually sing. :/ So, I've decided to test various kpop singers and groups to see who can actually sing and who can't.

Keep in mind that I'm not biased towards or against any artist, and I'm not trying to bash. I'm doing this because I'm bored. XD Also, for each artist, I'll look up at least five different live performances before deciding whether they pass or fail.

Green is pass, and red is fail. Yellow is decent.

Big Bang
Daesung
G-Dragon (He can't sing, but he can rap.)
Seungri
Taeyang
T.O.P.

Brown Eyed Girls
Gain
Jea
Miryo
Narsha

Alright, I'm done for now. I seriously can't stand any more horrible singing. XD

Well, I'll be learning the Run Devil Run dance. :)

smile. :)

Okay, first, I'd like to apologise about yesterday. Stuff happened. ><

Anyways. Here is my mini rant of the day. :)

I'm truly amazed at how no one smiles while dancing anymore. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SMILE. IF YOU WANT PEOPLE TO ENJOY YOUR PERFORMANCE AND THINK YOU'RE HAVING FUN, YOU HAFTA SMILE. Yes, you smile even if you're bboying, no matter how stupid and unmanly you think it is. SO SMILE, DAMMIT.

That was my Facebook status, so I had to keep it short. :/

But seriously. When I was in guard, SMILING WAS KEY. Even if we dropped all our tosses and fucked up the entire performance, we'd always have to keep smiling. SMILE, NO MATTER WHAT. Even if you fell on your face, and now your entire face is red. No one freaking cares about that. SMILE.

So, I was on YouTube looking up kpop dance covers and stuff like that, and I can't believe that NO ONE WAS SMILING. Just because the original artists don't smile doesn't mean you don't have to. The artists were singing. That's understandable. I can't smile and sing at the same time because I'll end up laughing. I can't sing anyways, but let's ignore that for now. XD But when you're dancing and have a frown on your face, no one wants to watch you.

And then, I was lucky enough to stumble across a cover of Run Devil Run. The dancer was smiling. :O I was so amazed. And she's hecka good, too. Way better than those non-smiling dancers. :/ Check out her channel! :D [Link]

Uhh. There was something else I wanted to talk about, but I forgot. Oh, wells. :/

dead.

And that is how I feel.

short post.

Three more albums to try and cram into my 1GB iPod. :/

asian movie reviews.

I've been watching lots of Asian movies lately. Y'see, I get bored hecka easily. Anyways, my friends and I had this huge list of Asian movies and were planning to have a movie day... but that's prolly not going to happen. And I got hecka bored, so I started watching the movies I put on the list. So, here's a review of the movies I've watched so far.

WARNING: MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS.

He Was Cool
Koizora the Movie
Sunadokei (Sand Chronicles)
Tada, Kimi wo Aishiteiru

He Was Cool ★★★☆☆
Summary: [Link]
I had some troubles loading the videos on Drama Crazy, so I ended up watching it on YouTube.
The beginning was a bit hard to understand. I didn't really get what was going on until probably the second part of the movie. The movie also didn't go into too much detail about Eunsung's past. I think that the movie would've been a lot better and more dramatic if the viewers were able to learn more about his past and why he became a bully in the first place.
You've got to love the character of Yewon. I love her personality. I don't really know how to explain her personality, but I think that despite being brought up in a poor family, there's so much to love about her. I don't blame Eunsung for falling for her.
And, of course, in all Korean movies/dramas, there's always the ex-girlfriend who's so FUCKING ANNOYING. I want to punch her in the face. Okay, I have to admit, she's hecka pretty, but the way she goes after Eunsung and tries to hurt Yewon... it's pathetic.
Oh! Another noted stereotype: Eunsung leaves to study abroad. Then, Eunsung and Yewon reunite in a romantic scene.
But besides that, this was kinda different from all the other stereotypical movies. Like, none of the main characters died. :D
Anyways. This movie was pretty good, but it could use some improvement. It never went in to too much detail. Personally, I think that it would've been better off as a 10-episode drama. It would've been nice if we could've gotten to know the characters more.

Koizora the Movie ★★★★★
Summary: [Link]
I actually haven't watched the drama before, so I can't make any comparisons between the two. Well, except for the fact that Hiroki is so much cuter in the movie. <3 He's the same guy that played Fujimaru/Falcon in the Bloody Monday series. <3
Okay. THIS IS THE BEST MOVIE EVER, HANDS DOWN. Also, it's a tearjerker, so remember to have some tissues handy! XD The love between Hiro and Mika is really different, in a sense. And Hiro is such a great guy... <3 I'd love for him to be my boyfriend.... But the thing is, I always thought that their relationship was being really rushed. Just a few weeks after they start going out, they have sex, and Mika gets pregnant. But I guess that since it's a movie, they have to rush the beginning so the story can move on.
And of course, in all Asian romance movies, there's the ex-girlfriend. She doesn't play too much of a part, besides that fact that she pushed Mika down, which caused Mika to get a miscarriage. Then, in the end, when you finally figure out why Hiro broke up with Mika, you can't help but cry. D;
And then, of course, it only gets more sad. :/
And then, stereotypically, SOMEONE DIES. :D
And stereotypically again, SOMEONE TRIES TO COMMIT SUICIDE. :D
Oh, yea. Another stereotype: SOMEONE GETS CANCER. :D
Alright, I'll admit, a lot of this is hecka stereotypical, but by far, this is the best movie I've ever watched. <3 I would definitely recommend it. No, wait. Screw that. WATCH IT, OR ELSE I'LL EAT YOU.

Sunadokei (Sand Chronicles) ★★★☆☆
Summary: [Link]
It's a bad summary, but if it were to give any more detail, it'd give the whole plot away. :/
I started to read the manga, but I stopped because I got lazy, so I just decided to watch the movie.
Ahh... young love... <3 Basically, Ann and Daigo fall in love. And of course, Fuji and his sister (whose name I don't remember) get in the way. It's not a love triangle; it's an incomplete love square. XD And it looks something like this:
Ann <--------------------> Daigo
  ^                                 ^
  |                                  |
  |                                  |
Fuji                    Fuji's little sister

There we go. See, it'd be a love square if Fuji and his sister thought it'd be nice to commit incest. But that never happened.
Anyways. I guess that for the most part, a lot of it was jealousy. Well, some, anyways. It's really good in the beginning, but afterwards, when they grow up and turn all old and wrinkly (okay, not really), it gets hecka confusing with Ann and the beach scenes. Also, a lot of it was flashbacks and stuff, but I think it would've been better if all the childhood scenes were shown, and then the story moved on to when they're adults. It would've been less confusing that way.
Also, I still don't understand the whole beach thing. Even after thinking about it for the longest time. I DON'T GET IT. D: I would've given this four stars instead of three, but I DON'T GET IT. So I can't give it another star. D:

Tada, Kimi wo Aishiteiru ★★★★☆
Summary: [Link]
I thought it was hecka weird in the beginning, but eventually, I started to understand what was going on. Pretty much, it's the love between two socially awkward people. Makoto has an inferiority complex, and Shizuru is really immature and childish, and she's basically strange. So, Shizuru falls in love with Makoto. They both take an interest in photography, so they go into a forest to take pictures. Makoto starts liking Miyuki, and Shizuru and Miyuki end up becoming close friends.
"I just want the person I love to fall in love with the person he loves."
^ That refers to the relationship between Shizuru, Makoto, and Miyuki. I won't say too much, though. Figure it out yourself. >:D
So, it's Shizuru's birthday, and Makoto asks her what she wants. She said that she wants a photo of them kissing in the forest. But ever since that kiss, Shizuru disappears from Makoto's life.
I am definitely NOT giving out the ending to this one. I WILL NEVER, EVER GIVE OUT THE ENDING TO THIS MOVIE. EVER.
The beginning was, not so much confusing, but it was really weird. After the weirdness died down a bit, it got really interesting. It was also really funny. But only at the end can one appreciate the beauty of this movie.
As for stereotypes, I didn't find too many; there's one in the end, but I won't say what it is.

Alright, my movie reviews are done for now.

I want to watch the Machine Girl, but from the trailer, it seemed like nothing was anatomically correct. :/

Also, I'd like to watch:
`100 Days With Mr. Arrogant
`1 Litre of Tears
`Saigou no Yakusoku
`Tokyo Boy
`Yesterday

No horror movies for me~ Even though I hecka want to watch Jisatsu Circle. But I tend to stay away from that shit.

my manliness, women, and the fucking media.

Okay, before I get into what stuff about my manliness, I just have to say that BONAMANA is the most annoying song ever. So I changed it to Futatsu no Kuchibiru, which is the ending song from my favourite drama ever. Tokyo Dogs. :D You have to watch it. :D Best drama ever. It's a Japanese police drama.

Ughh. I'm so distracted right now. A fly landed on a roll of tape next to the computer, and now I'm just watching it. Hoping it doesn't get away. :/ Flies are shiny green, apparently. Hmm. I didn't know that. Haha, the fly flew into the light and got burned. Incandescent lights FTW. Haha.

Anyways, back to what I was actually going to write about.

I'm seriously not manly enough. Of all my guy friends, I'm the least manly. I just realised that today, when I went to the mall. See, my guy friends would never, ever go into Victoria's Secret or Sephora or Wet Seal or any of those girly stores. Uhh. Well, let's just say that I don't mind going in there. I went into Victoria's Secret. Why? Because they had a sale on fragrances and lotion and stuff like that. Okay, I have to admit, I love Victoria's Secret lotions and body butter. And now, they have this souffle thing, which is really awesome. XD I got one that smells like apple, and one that smells like candy. :D I like the candy one the best. :]

I also have a Bath and Body Works obsession. I love their hand sanitisers and foaming soap. They smell so good. XD

See, the thing is, I have one friend who doesn't mind going into Victoria's Secret and Sephora and stuff. He says it's because he always gets dragged in there by his mom. Well, he's still manlier than me because he doesn't actually buy anything from there. Or does he...? Even if he did, he's still manlier because he's more buff than me. Haha.

Funny thing is, I'm not gay. Even though I love girly stores. Oh, I also buy expensive moisturisers and cleansers from Macys. My favourite is Clinique's Moisture Surge Extra. :D

I need to shut up.

But I'm still somewhat manly because
`I use Gatsby. For men.
`I use Mandom facial cleansers. For men.
`I have man boobs.
`I bboy.
`I wear guy clothes.
`My hair is shorter than some other guys' hair.
`Other people think I'm a guy. That should count for something, right? P:

And of course, my favourite reason...

I TALK ABOUT PENISES ALL THE TIME.

Did you know that the plural form of "penis" can, in addition to "penises," also be "penes"? You're welcome for the info, btw. :D

Apparently, my mom bought an outfit or pants or some type of clothing that can help you burn fat...? O.o Never heard of that. Seems interesting, though. I ought to try that. Haha. I'll feel like a woman. XD

On the topic of that... why are women so obsessed with their weight? I don't get it. Is there something wrong with weighing more?

IT'S ALL THE MEDIA'S FAULT. Women always go along with what the media says. If the media says that women should be skinny and anorexic, women try to lose weight like crazy. If the media says that women should have curly hair, the next day, every woman has curly hair. I think it's stupid. And it's not just women. Why should the media dictate how everyone lives their lives? Why should the fucking media decide that women have to be skinny, otherwise, everyone will hate them?

I seriously don't get it. I think that people who starve themselves or overexercise or force themselves to puke are really despicable. Okay, so maybe that was a bit harsh, but it really pisses me off. Why can't people just learn to love who they are? Why do people try to change themselves to fit in?

And that applies to the fashion magazines and stuff like that. All that crap that the models are wearing... I mean, does that even look good? Sure, some people might like it, but what really makes me mad is when everyone tries to wear that. The thing is, I wouldn't mind that. That is, I wouldn't mind that if everyone who tries to wear that actually likes what they're wearing. I hate it when people dress in a certain way in order to fit in. Okay, first of all, they would probably be able to fit in better if they actually decided to be themselves. How much longer will they be able to fake it?

Ughh. It's 9:30, and I'm hecka tired. I have summer school tomorrow morning, so I'm going to sleep now.

Peace.

music.

RUN DEVIL RUN! :D

Even though this song came out a while ago, and everyone's gotten over the craze, I still like it. XD I'm weird, I know.



There you go. Listen to it. Haha. I'm seriously considering using this song in the mix I'm making for my dance crew. It's really upbeat. I like it, anyways.

Speaking of dance crew. Yea, I tried to get a DJ to mix songs for us, but he never responded to anything from me, so I gave up. Then, I discovered a software that can help with mixing songs. The best part is, it syncs all of the BPMs. That makes me happy. :D

[Link]

It actually doesn't look that bad. It seems easy enough to figure out, and I don't think I'll be having a hard time with it. :D I'll write a review for it after I finish mixing the songs for our show. And that probably won't be any time soon. :/

Also, I've added Super Junior's BONAMANA to the bottom of my blog. HAHAHAHA. The song is really interesting.

See, that's a summary of my horrible sense of music. XD I can't believe I listen to this crap. XD

I used to be a total metalhead, and then I started dancing. So, I realised that you can't dance to metal. I mean, I guess you could headbang (which, by the way, is a form of dance), but I never really liked headbanging. It killed my neck. D: Anyways, I guess, one day, I just started dancing and stuff, and so, I gave my iPod to two of my friends and asked them to put whatever songs they wanted in it. They were really into Asian pop and stuff like that, so when my iPod got back from its trip, I had hecka upbeat songs. And I guess I've been listening to Asian pop since then.

And my iPod and I lived happily ever after.

The End.

dance class and converse.

I want to improve my bboying. I know that there are classes out there and whatnot, but I don't have the money to go to those classes. My parents don't approve, anyways. They think that dancing is a complete waste of time. I disagree. They also say that I'm just going to waste my money. They think I'm going to quit.

Except I'm not going to quit.

I'll admit, I've quit a lot of things in the past.
`I quit soccer in 3rd grade.
`I quit art lessons in 5th grade.
`I quit piano in 5th grade.
`I quit basketball in 6th grade.
`I quit ice skating in 7th grade.
`I quit violin in 8th grade.
`I quit volleyball in 9th grade.
`I quit colourguard in 10th grade.

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who came up with the phrase, "quit while you're ahead?"

Anyways... I'm 120% sure that I'm not going to quit bboying. I designed a pair of converse that said "BBOY4LIFE." Of course, I didn't buy it because I didn't have any money. But whatever. You get what I'm saying.

On the topic of Converse... I really want to get custom shoes. I'll probably get the "layered" shoes because those are hecka cool. And I already have a good design in mind. I've been designing Converse this entire day. I seriously have nothing to do.

The only problem is, custom Converse are really expensive. The ones I want are $70. WTF is up with that? :/ I'm only complaining because I'm on a budget, so I have to get everything for cheap or on sale. My black high-tops were for regular price, which was about $60, but my mom got that for me, so I didn't really care about price or anything. My splatter painted ones were on sale for $50, so that was pretty cool. I bought them with my own money.

But what really pissed me off was when I returned to the store a week after to look at Nikes, and THE CONVERSE WERE ON SALE FOR $40. I wanted to cry. D;

Oh, well. I don't really care right now. I have way too many pairs of shoes, anyways. I need to stop buying shoes. Except now I want custom Converse. And custom Nikes. And Jordans. I'm so glad that I'm always broke. Otherwise, all my shoes wouldn't fit in the shoe closet. Haha.

I'm hoping to get lots of money for my birthday so I can get my stupid custom Converse. You know what? Screw it. I'll just buy a pair of non-black converse, and I'll draw on it with Sharpie. THERE. NOW I'LL HAVE A PAIR OF CUSTOM CONVERSE. >:D And it'll be way more unique than everyone else's. And of course, it's going to say "BBOY4LIFE." :]

Good idea. :D See, this is why I like Converse. Because it's made with canvas, which makes it easier to draw on. :D

first posts don't need official titles.

I've finally decided to start up a blog. I've had a few blogs before, when I was in junior high, but I stopped blogging after a while. Hopefully, I'll be able to actually continue this.
So, let's begin. Who am I? What am I doing here? Well, that's for you to find out.

But I'll say a few things about myself.

`My gender is irrelevant.
`I bboy.
`My life revolves around God, my friends, school, dance, and piano.
`I like sweets.

Let's be friends. :]